Ed's my Fortune?
by Seasidegirl
Summary: The boys attend a funfair and bump  literally  into an innocent enough looking fortune-telling machine. What they don't know is they might be getting a little more than what they bargained for!


**Hey guys! I'm sorry to have waited to so long to start writing again. Just so you all know, I haven't abandoned my other fic, it's just they're being written at the same time and life has just been getting in the way. But this one got finished first, so here it is! Enjoy guys, reviews and critiques are always welcome! Please remember this is a chapter's story, there will be future installments.  
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**Ed Edd n Eddy do not belong to me.  
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><p>"COTTON CANDY GUYS!"<p>

The carnival had arrived at Peach Creek, its jolly message of "Come one! Come all! August's BIGGEST event!" emblazoned loudly and obnoxiously on the posters that had been stapled to the telegraph poles along the cul de sac. The kids had gathered around them in the summer heat, talking excitedly and animatedly about the various rides, games and above all, all the cheap candy they could eat. That night they had all made the pilgrimage to the fair in a group, pocket money begged from their respective parents jingling jovially in their pockets, all grinning hungrily as they breathed in the fresh twilight summer air that carried the scent of hotdogs and burgers all the way to their homes. The lights and music flashed incessantly and brightly, voices chatted, shouted and laughed and children ran amok, hopped up on sugar and adrenaline. It was kid paradise.

Three boys stood at the cotton candy stall, the tallest of the trio reaching over and grabbing a stick topped with a fluorescent pink cloud of spun sugar with all the joy of a toddler. He giggled as he eyed the fluffy treat and stuck the whole thing into his mouth, stick and all, and swallowed, his stomach making an eerie flushing sound as he gulped it down. His companions, one small and stocky with all the airs and graces of a used car salesman egged him on as he laughed raucously, and the other watched the sight before him, his skinny arms crossed across his chest with an amused grin gracing his cheeks as he winced occasionally.

"You're an animal Ed!" The stocky boy cackled as he held his ribs in laughter. "That's gonna be painful in the morning, big guy!"

"Eddy! Please, that's disgusting!" The skinny thirteen year old shook his head from the unsavoury thought, his black hat flopping side to side. "Ed, why must you punish your digestive system so?" The boy reached beneath his hat and brought out a long yellow rubber glove with a flourish. "Open your mouth please, Ed. Oh my goodness, slimy slimy slimy..."

With this, he brought his arm out from the taller boy's gullet, the stick held high as he rolled the glove from his arm and placing it tentatively in a nearby bin. "What do you have to say for yourself, mister?"

Ed blinked for a second, his face breaking out into a wide beam. For Ed, this place really was kid heaven. He adored the lights, the music, the various games and all the different foods. He had already spent most of the small allowance his mother had given him purely on collective amounts of burgers, sweets, hotdogs and a bowl of not-quite-curry. He clambered to his feet and pointed toward the ghost train with a grin. "Ghost train Double-Dee! Let's go on it again!"

"Aw come on, Lumpy, we've been on that dumb ride three TIMES already!" Eddy butted in before his companion could answer. The lovable boy before him seemed to think about this for a few seconds, his eyes blinking in concentration. Then, after a slightly painful pause, he threw his arms up in excitement and yelled to the heavens above him; "GHOSTS EDDY! ZOMBIES AND MUMMIES AND ALIENS, OH MY!" And with this, he set off at full speed, not bothering to weave in and out of the sea of kids before him, but preferring to careen forward through them like some gangly cannonball.

Edd and Eddy looked at eachother for a split second before taking off, simultaneously calling "ED! NO!" as they chased their overenthusiastic friend, dodging the various groaning kids who picked themselves up from what felt like a wrecking ball had gone over them.

The ghost train attendant, a tired looking gent who seemed to have not touched soap in a week, blinked slowly at the commotion that was going on, and felt a wave of panic rise in him. He recognised the tallest as the boy who had grinned stupidly the whole way through the ride just half an hour ago, insisting on bringing his collection of foodstuffs with him. Now he was heading for his ride with all the momentum of a runaway steamroller and just as unstoppable. But before he could even lift his arms up in a futile attempt to stop the boy, an almighty CRASH rang out over the carnival as the boy ripped right through, Edd and Eddy clinging desperately to the back of his jacket, leaving behind a perfect "Eds" shaped hole behind them.

"Ohhh my..." Edd whimpered as he looked over his shoulder in horror. He gripped the still running boy as he was shook up and down violently. "Ed! How did you do that and not get hurt?"

"I'm a cartoon, Double Dee!"

"Huh- WHAAAA!" The hat wearing teen yelled as he was launched into mid-air, and flew at high velocity, his flight cut short by a loud "CLAANNNNNNNG!" as he hit something with all the cushioning of concrete.

Eddy groaned. He had held onto Ed's jacket to the last innings, and whimpered face down into the grass below him. He looked up sourly, a growl rumbling from in his chest as he stared at the less than intelligent boy above him, who seemed to have escaped into a little world of his own. Again.

"Ed? ED! Wake up, Lummox!" Eddy's hand reached up out of the dirt and tugged on Ed's jacket, pulling him down so he was eye level. "You've ruined my good shirt! Now I'm gonna have to explain to my mom AGAIN on how it looks like it's been ripped about by a Rhino!"

His furious words fell on deaf ears, and Eddy felt his friend place his hand atop his head and turn it, so it faced a large metal and glass box, with a small puddle of what was left of Double Dee next to it. "It's the TARDIS, Eddy…" He whispered reverently, and tentatively tiptoed towards it, dropping Eddy less-than-delicately back into the mud.

"The TARDIS, Ed?" Double Dee groaned as he looked up, rubbing his back and blinking at his fascinated friend, who was now touching the outside with all the awe as if it were a newborn. "What we have here, is nothing more than a fortune telling box," He grinned as he stood up. "A traditional game in which you place your hand on the hand shape here" He pointed to the handprint on the front, "And a ticket comes out that supposedly tells your future. It's all make-believe, of COURSE,"

"Tells your future?" Gasped a voice that came up between the two boys. "Do you think it will tell me if I'll be rich by the time I'm twenty?" With that, Eddy slapped his hand on the handprint. A small silence befell them as they looked to the gaudy puppet inside, as if expecting it to jump out and tell them their fortunes in a puff of smoke.

"It's a game, Eddy. Whatever it tells you will be completely random and untrue," Edd pointed to the slot beneath the puppet. "And you have to PAY, Eddy. One quarter,"

"A quarter? Rip off! I could get a jawbreaker for that! I ain't payin'" Eddy took his hand away and folded his arms huffily. "This stinks. I wish I knew my future now, then I could prepare. Y'know, stocks, accounts, credit and all that. Gives me plenty of time,"

"Que Sera Sera, Eddy," His friend smiled at him warmly.

"Que Se- You know, every time you speak, I SWEAR you're turning more and more into an old woman, Double Dee," Eddy grinned back and nudged Edd playfully in the shoulder. Despite their previous rodeo with Ed, the fair had left them in good and happy spirits.

"Hey guys! Listen to this!" Ed piped up from behind them. "Simp…. Simp… uh, Double Dee, what does this word say?"

"You got a fortune, Ed? How delightful! That says… 'Simplicity will be your greatest happiness. To stumble through life yet know your direction is your greatest asset. Your number is five. P.S: Tim,'," Edd scratched his head in puzzlement as he looked at the strip of paper in his hand, and turned it this way and that. "Tim? What does it mean by P.S: Tim?"

"Maybe it means Evil Tim, Double Dee! The one who sucked the marrow out of his victim's bones through their eyelids!" Ed took the paper back and popped it in his pocket. "My fortune will stay with Sheldon! Maybe he'll make it come true!"

"It was pretty accurate, I'll admit… but it's only pretend, Ed," Edd scratched his head in puzzlement, and turned to find Eddy with his palm firmly down on the handprint, a greedy little expression gracing his features. "I thought you were saving your quarter for a jawbreaker, Eddy,"

"Yeah right! After Lumpy's fortune, I want in on this!" Eddy looked up at the puppet inside the glass box greedily. "Come on, Riches, Girls, Fame and Fortune!"

"It's pretend, Eddy! It's not true!"

"It is _so_ true, Double Dee!" Ed piped up as he smiled from them from the mud. "It knows about Evil Tim!"

"Yeah! So shut up Sockhead, I wanna read my fortune!" Eddy snickered to himself as a long piece of paper printed out from a slot below the hand. It was a little shorter than Ed's, and he ripped it from the slot impatiently and excitedly.

"You will trip over many obstacles and follow many dead ends. You will one day learn that your greatest fortune is not one thing, but two. Your number is two,"

Eddy blinked in confusion. His mind tried to click the message together, it not making any sense. With a shrug, he crumpled it up and threw it over his shoulder with a huff. "Garbage," he grumbled. "Man, I thought I'd get something good. Doesn't even say anything about money! Waste of a good quarter,"

"I did tell you it's make believe, Eddy!" Edd placed his hands on his hips. "I for one will not be wasting any of MY hard earned pennies in that machine, thank you,"

"Aww, come on Double Dee! We all did it!" Ed grinned as he leant forward. "Unless you're scaaaaared!"

"Scared? Of a machine? Come now Ed, I'm merely saying it's a con, a ruse, a game, and I for one want to save my money for…"

"CHICKEN! BOK BOK BOK!" Ed laughed gaily, flapping his arms like two very smelly, green wings. "Chicken doesn't wanna find out his futurrre!"

"Come on Sockhead, we ain't got all day. Just do it so Einstein here is happy and then we can go back? I kinda wanna go and scam someone out of their shirt or something," Eddy shivered, covering up the slashes of rips in his shirt. "I'm freezing my nips off, here!"

"Aww, you can borrow my coat, Eddy!" Ed grinned and, before Eddy could protest, Ed had thrown the coat around him, enveloping the smaller boy in a cocktail of dirt, stenches and god-knows-what-else. "JEEZE LOUISE! That coat STINKS Ed! Come ON Double Dee, get on with it!" Eddy yelled as he wriggled out of the over coat and threw it back into his friend's vacant face.

"FINE! Fine! I'll do it, if it means quieting you two down," Edd sighed as he placed his right palm onto the handprint and popped in his money, rolling his eyes as a strip of paper slid out of the slot. It was much shorter than his friend's and as he tore it off and read it, the colour drained from his face.

"So? What does it say, Sockhead?" Eddy peeked over his shoulder. "Be honest to yourself? What in the heck does that mean? And your number is… wait, you don't HAVE a number!"

"L-Like you said Eddy. It's garbage!" Edd stammered as he folded the paper oh so carefully and placed it safely into his pocket. "Now come on, let's go get you a new shirt,"

"Let's get Rolf's, I've always liked his. Or Kevin's! Hah, he'll have to walk home all cold and I'll be wearing his shirt… yeah, let's get his! Come on, Lummox, let's go,"

"Along the road I walk alone, Eddy!"

"Yeah yeah yeah…"

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><p>Edd sighed as he sank into his carefully labelled bed. Tonight, his parents were working the night shift, meaning the house was empty except for him. It also meant that Eddy and Ed were staying the night; the permission from his parent's given a few days in advance of the fair by way of a breakfast sticky note. Eddy was shuffling into his sleeping bag, the black eye he sported from trying to steal Kevin's shirt finally calming down. Ed was already dead asleep; snoring deeply and loudly as his legs occasionally kicked his blanket, much like a dog's.<p>

"Wow, Lumpy's really going for it tonight ain't he, Dee," Eddy grinned as he watched his friend wrestle with his grimy blanket.

"Makes one wonder what he is dreaming about," Edd yawned and turned over onto his back, so he faced the ceiling and his carefully labelled mobile, feeling his own eyes droop heavily. "Buttered toast, I expect," He sleepily pondered.

"Yeah… only Ed could dream about buttered toast and have a Nightmare," Eddy grinned as he closed his eyes, feeling sleep claim him.

Edd followed suit, a smile left over from his action-packed day. But when he opened them again, his surroundings couldn't have been more different, unfamiliar yet familiar, like the one time Eddy had goaded him into trying his dad's beer. An acrid smell of whiskey, tobacco smoke and cologne invaded his nostrils with all the harshness of paint stripper. The sounds of a pool game and a jukebox echoed in his ears. "Ohhh my…" Edd hissed to himself as he felt his chin with a sweep of his fingers. "I have… stubble?"


End file.
